© 2007 Christopher Vened Szwaja
AN IMPOSSIBLE CHOICE
(Christopher Vened Szwaja)
Once I fell in love with identical twin sisters, Inna and Nina, and was not able to make a choice about which one I preferred. The feeling was mutual, the twin sisters fell in love with me too and both of them kept flirting with me. One day they asked me coquettishly, “Which one of us is more beautiful, Nina or Inna?” and then they were posing themselves seductively for my benefit.
“Oh, you are both equally the most beautiful girls in the world,” I answered.
“No, that is the wrong answer!” they shouted in unison decisively. “You have to choose one of us over the other,” they demanded.
“But how can I choose between you two since I am not even able to distinguish you one from the other?’ I said and argued further, “I am not even able to say which of you is Inna and which is Nina.”
They looked at each other and laughed. “It is because we dress alike,” they said in unison. “Come to our house this evening and we will undress for you. You will see which of us you will desire more. The one of us that your desire chooses will become your girlfriend,” they said. “It will be a final test,” they added and asked me, “Are you up to it?”
“Yes, I am,” I answered surprised with their forwardness.
“So see you then,” they said and departed.
When the evening came, I went to the twin sisters’ house. They were waiting for me, both dressed in identical evening dresses.
“Follow us,” they said and without much ado they lead me to a large room upstairs. There they asked me to sit in an armchair that was in the middle of the room. Then they undressed and stood stark naked before me, both in the exact same distance from me, one on the right, the other on the left side of the room.
“Look at us,” they said in unison, “and choose the one you are attracted to more.” They both had rather large breasts and curvy hips that I found very attractive, but I was hesitating which one to choose since they were identical in size and shape. It was an impossible choice to make since even freckles (that were plentiful) were exactly in the same spots and in the same number. So I was sitting there drawn to them both but unable to make a move because the two objects of my desire attracted me with equal force.
“Hurry up,” the sisters prompted me, “it is little bit chilly to stand so long naked.”
“I am attracted to you both equally and desire you both the same,” I said.
“You can’t have us both,” they said.
“Why not?” I asked them.
“Because we are not going to share you,” they said in unison.
“Isn’t it your fate as identical twins to want and share exactly the same things?” I argued.
“No,” they cut me short and repeated, “You have to choose one or the other.”
“But if I choose one of you, will the other one not be offended and vice versa?” I kept arguing.
“Yes, she will be,” they answered admittedly.
“You see?” I exclaimed triumphantly and said as convincingly as I could, “you should accept your innate fate as identical twin sisters and both go to bed with me at the same time.”
“You are an idiot!” they said in unison and immediately left the room.
I never saw them again. Till now I can’t forgive myself for not choosing one of them. I could have said, “I choose you, on the right, or the other, on the left.” It didn’t matter which one; they were identical, and that was what was confusing.
But I learned my lesson. And in case I fall in love with identical twin sisters again and they ask me to choose between them, I will always arbitrarily choose the one on the right. The problem is that thirty-five years has already passed since then and there has not been another occasion – but I am not dead yet, so who knows.
Sometime later I read Jean Buridan’s medieval fable about an ass that was not able to make his choice. In the spirit of the philosophical quest of the time about whether choice is preconditioned innately or determined by external circumstances, an ass was subjected to an experiment in which two identical bundles of hay were placed before him at the same distance, one on the right, the other on the left side. The ass was not able to make his mind which bundle of hay he preferred and died of hunger.
Damn it, I only wish I had read that fable before, not after, I met the twins. I would rather learn my lessons from literature than from experience.